White House: 2 December 2019 (12:40 am)


US White House
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Donald Trump (DT): Ok, I need some ideas on how to deal with this impeachment thing so I hope you have come prepared. Kellyanne, what do you have?

Kellyanne Conway (KC): F%*k 'em sir.

DT: Hmm. I like the sounds of that. Good. Put some meat on the bones and get back to me. Mick...what do you have?

Mick Mulvaney (MM): Stonewall them sir.

DT: Ok. That sounds familiar. I think...but it has legs. Put something together. Ok...where the hell is Mike?

MM: Mike sir?

DT: Mike..the VP....where the hell is he?

KC: Sir I believe you told us we were not allowed to contact him without your permission.

DT: Goddammit!. Do I have to do everything around here? Get him on the horn ASAP!

Mike Pence (MP): Sir...Mike here on the line. I understand you had something for me.

DT: Where the hell are you?

MP: Uh...home...sir?

DT: Home!? When did I authorize that?

MP: Uh..home...in my office sir. I call my office home...as I spend so much time here...sorry for the confusion.

DT: What?! What do you call your home then? You know..the place with your wife?

MP: Uh..home sir.

DT: Ok...jeez...whatever. What do you have for me Mike on this impeachment strategy way ahead.

MP: Yes sir. I have been studying the Constitution...as well as Federalist Papers No. 66, and Hamilton states...

DT: Mike...stop...just stop...what the hell are you talking about? Nobody wants to hear what some moldy documents say, that no one understands or has read...or what some guy no one has heard of says about them! I am getting some good stuff from the staff here...and thats all you have:? Kellyanne, what else?.

KC: Yes sir. My people have done some research and discovered that most of the Constitution is in fact a false narrative that needs to be exposed for what it is. We're on to something here. This strategy will be a key component of the overall alternate facts campaign.

DT: Excellent work KC. Get on Fox and let's roll with it. You see Mike? This is what I expect! Now get your people on it and give me some options! Where the hell is my Colson?! Get Roger Stone on the line...I want results!

MP: But sir...

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