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White House: 1 Nov 2019: 3:17 AM

Alien standing in spaceship
Alien life form Photo by Pixel86 from Pixabay

Donald Trump: (DT): Mike? Is that you?

Mike Pence (MP): Sir? Yes. Mike here. Good evening.

DT: Good evening? Mike, it's almost 3:30 in the morning. Have you been drinking?

MP: Uh, no sir. I don't drink as you know.

DT: I did not the way...where the hell are you right now?

MP: my office sir.

DT: In your office? What the hell are you doing there at this hour?

MP: Well you are aware...last month you told me to stay in my office and you would call me if you needed anything.

DT: Yes..I did say that..but I did not mean to live in your mean to tell me you have not left your office for over two weeks?

MP: It is actually not to bad sir. I mean the couch is quite comfortable.

DT: Good God Mike...ok...that's not important now. I called to provide you talking points for today.

MP: Great sir. I'm standing by.

DT: Good Mike. Joe Biden is an alien. Got it?

MP. Joe Biden is an alien? Got it sir. Wait...this is fantastic news sir. If Joe Biden is a foreigner he is not authorized to run for president. You didn't even need that Ukraine thing. So where was he born?

DT: Where was he born? Mike...he is an alien. Like from another planet. Like Venus or Orion or some s**t.

MP: An alien sir? Like an extraterrestrial you mean?

DT: What the hell Mike...I'm not a scientist. He's an alien. Got it?

MP: Yes sir. So...when questioned by the I show them a birth certificate or....

DT: Birth certificate? Mike...aliens don't have birth certificates. That's why they're aliens. Do I need to think of everything around this g*d#% mn place? Get your people on it if you have to!

MP: No problem sir. Is there an action officer on your staff I can have my people plug in to for continuity?

DT: Jeez's not that complicated...Ok...if you need it...your POC over here is Kellyanne. She's been doing a great job with the alternative facts campaign.

MP: Kellyanne. Got it...can I get...


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