White House: 25 December 1:53 AM
Donald Trump (DT): Mitch...are you there? WTF KellyAnn!...no one's on this go%dam# line!
Mitch McConnell (MM): Sir?...Mr. President...is that you?
DT: Yes Mitch..who the hell else would it be? I got Mick and KellyAnn here and we need to strategize this impeachment thing. You have been ducking me on this....
MM: Sir...as we discussed the other day..we need to put this quickly behind us...two months from now it will all be forgotten.
DT: Put it behind us?! What the hell are you talking about?! There has been a goddamn reality television show going on for 6 weeks and I need to get in on it! Who the hell are their producers anyway? It's crap. We could milk this thing until the primaries! If there's anything I understand its TV!
MM: Um...sir..are we talking about the Senate trial...or...
DT: Call it what you want Mitch...if it's on TV...and it's unscripted..it's reality TV...I have some ideas. Go ahead KellyAnn.
KellyAnn Conway (KC): I say we move it to Mar a Lago....get sort of a tropical vibe...put people at ease...it will f$#k the Dems up good sir.
DT: Excellent KC. Mick...what do you have?
Mick Mulvaney (MV): Uh...sir...under my lawyer's advice I need to...
DT: Goddammit Mick! Do we need to get lawyers involved in this...really!? If you want to talk to a f*&king lawyer call Rudy! Ok...what do you think Mitch?
MM: Sir...I would argue that the stakes are a little high here and...
DT: Mitch...we are talking January timeframe here....people are looking for things to watch...it's a f*%king ratings goldmine!...do I need to think of everything!?...get a staffer on it...send me some producers...let's get to it!