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Joe's First Press Conference: Wow...Epic Fail

Updated: Mar 25, 2021


Joe Biden signing things
Hey...Those Pages Are Blank! Via APNews

Joe had his first press conference today. Thankfully it was 1:15 PM Eastern time, so our ossified president was able to get out of bed and creak to the podium. I don't really give a shit about whatever he said about the Senate filibuster or gun control. Most Americans don't care about those things either. I was interested in what Joe had to say about the Mexican border and Afghanistan....and I should have went to Vegas....as I predicted what old 20th century Joe would say about both of them....and it was not good.


"It Happens Every Year"


Matt Stafford
Yep...Happens Every Year... Via PrideOfDetroit

W...T...F? In one of his rambling non-answers on the border (crisis?), Joe said "it happens every year at this time."....Hmm. He is basically saying...you know...shit happens? So you knew this because you were a Senator for 100 years...and a Vice President for 8 years...and you prepared for this how exactly? Then of course Joe blames the Trump administration for basically setting him up for failure. So which is it Joe? Both you say? So he is basically telling us that Obama...Trump...and now old Joe does not have anything more to say to the American people on this subject. Yes...I know things are being done to improve conditions for those migrants waiting for their court hearings. However, when asked when reporters can go and see the conditions for themselves....Joe basically said..."we're not ready yet". Not ready yet?...for what! Something tells me that things are not progressing as smoothly as we are being led to believe by this administration.


Hey Mr Taliban



George Bush
I Warned Y'all 'Bout Them Taleeban Via Twitter

When asked if the US would withdraw 2,500 troops from Afghanistan by 1 May 2021 in accordance with the Doha accord...Joe mumbled something about...something...and then his answer was "I don't see them still there a year from now." Good answer Joe...If we were children. The Taliban did agree to break all ties with international terrorists by 1 May 2021....and there are some reports that some Al Quaeda are camping out on their turf. Ok...who exactly are these people? They are definitely not your 2001 Al Quaeda....probably a bunch of scrubs hunched in the desert. If the Taliban let them stay...so be it...is that worth getting in to a shooting war with the Taliban if we do not leave as we agreed to? I mean, that would be like the Governor of Michigan telling the sheriff in some redneck county to break all ties with the local militia. That would never happen in this country. Yet that's what we want to happen in Afghanistan. The Taliban are determined to be part of the Afghanistan political process...and that is not our business. We have been in that country longer than the amount of time we spent in WWII, Korea and Vietnam combined. We're concerned about "ungoverned space" in Afghanistan. Ungoverned space! Hell...Michigan to Idaho is ungoverned space in this country. Could Afghanistan "backslide" in the future and become a terrorist safe haven and threat to the US? Maybe. However we don't keep combat troops in countries where things "might happen". That's why we have the CIA...State Department...and god knows how many other agencies working out of our embassies. How about they do their jobs for once and figure out what's going on around the world...so combat troops are not needed.


Time For A Nap Joe



Sleepy Joe
Get Some Coffee Goddamit! Via ThePublishedReporter

I'm sure Joe spent all week preparing for this event and imagine he is worn out. Pace yourself Joe...lots to do.

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